How Come Existance?
by oij
Summary: A monologue. This is one is through Solid Snake. Snake's thoughts, be afraid....


I was lying on my bed, studying the various cracks in the ceiling and meditating on my cigarette. Thinking.  
I've been thinking a lot lately. Jack, my young friend, found that his entire life up to last Thursday, the 30th of April, had been a staged performance directed by the Patriots. The Patriots, those b*stards. They seemed to enjoy manipulating humanity, never mind the fact that they've been dead for a hundred years. Jack was the tragic hero in the S3 program's attempt to prove that, given the right circumstances, anybody would take up arms and repeat mistakes already made.  
That is what amazes me about human beings. Of all of God's creatures, they are the only ones blessed with reason. They are able to look back on history and learn from past errors and yet they are marked by a strange disinclination to do so...  
  
I sat up on my bed, closed my eyes and slowly exhaled the thick smoke of my cigarette through my nostrils.  
The epic drama of my long life led me to question...well...everything. How come? How come existence?  
Life, I knew, was only as real as the mind could make it. But did that apply on a global scale? Did objects appear only when we perceived them? I had a thought that they indeed existed only upon perception. When not being perceived, they disappeared into the vast, infinite structure of the universe. If that was so, then what was Jack's history? Or mine, even?  
I understood that I was initially the faulty clone of Big Boss. My brothers, codenamed Liquid and Solidus, were "born" with "gifts". Liquid was not harmed by the cold. Solidus was not harmed by electricity. I had kidney stones. Go me. Nevertheless, of both, I came up on the top. I have no desire to go down in history. I only wish to _be_. As each new day dawns, another ends, and new possibilities arise. But...what are days?  
  
If I died, could I open my eyes again as Alexander the Great? If objects exist only upon perception, does the same go for time? I could live forever, if I could convince my body that it was possible. Anything is possible; the fakirs have proven that. Manipulation of the universe lies within the grasp of our minds; that is quite a lot of power. With the Digital Age at hand, the Patriots have devoted themselves to corking information, pruning it, allowing only that which was necessary for the further evolution of mankind. What they are doing is impossible. Our minds are greater and more intricate than even the greatest super-computer. Besides,  
  
Life  
Finds  
A  
Way  
  
Suddenly, I was tempted to approach Hal Emmerich and ask him, "How come existence?" but when Hal doesn't have the answer to something, he hurls corrosive chemicals at me. Perhaps the answer is something I had best seek on my own.  
I had a conversation with an old man at a sub-shop who inquired as to the purpose of Philanthropy. I explained, as best as I could, that we were an organization devoted to the destruction of Metal Gear. Nuclear war, I said, would end only in one way. Only in one sad, sorrowful way. He told me I was mad for thinking that I could change anything. "You're a useless loony, David!" he cried. Perhaps he was right.  
But I am a useless loony with a great cause. Humans. Humans are my cause.  
  
Yes.   
  
I snuffed my cigarette and pulled the lucky bandana from my bedpost. Maybe the rule of existence was to not ask "Why?" "Why?" is a solitary question with infinite answers. Sitting and contemplating the meaning of being will, in the end, amount to nothing.  
  
I would stop thinking about it then and take every day as it came, another chance to breathe. Another chance for happiness. Love, poetry, songs, literature, these are human inventions. These are what preserve our culture. Humankind will not always be here. One day, we will be gone. I fight so that our legacy will be left to the next being. I fight so that a new yesterday can be born.  
  
I fight because I believe, because I breathe, and because _I am!_ And in years to come, I'll be sure that others can say the same...  
  
_I stare at the stars, and the sky up above  
And think what am I made of?  
Am I full of sorrow, am I hurt and pain?  
Or am I filled with Love?  
I walk by myself on the streets below  
And ask every child I know--  
Do you think tomorrow will bring sun or rain?  
Which one of these will show?  
I Can't Say Goodbye to Yesterday, my friend  
I keep holding on 'till the end.  
Out of the darkness, there is no other way  
Than the light leading to yesterday.  
It's there that I'll find inner peace, not war  
And dreams that I let slip away.  
I will find the joyfulness, I'm looking for  
Way back in yesterday.  
  
Why can't each of us in the world ever see  
The best things in life are free?  
Little sounds of laughter; a warm heart; a smile;  
A kiss from you to me...  
I fall to my knees,  
I cry and I cry,  
Love, do not pass me by!  
Happily ever after,  
Please stay a while; make time refuse to fly.  
I Can't Say Goodbye to Yesterday, my friend  
'Cause I know how good it has been..  
Facing forever  
Here I stand, come what may;  
Bring the old, bring the new yesterday!  
It's there that I'll find inner peace not war,  
And dreams that I let slip away  
I await the joyfulness; I'm looking for  
Way back in Yesterday......_  
  



End file.
